W.A.T.C.H., the World Against Toys Causing Harm organization, has just released its "10 Worst Toys" of the season list.
I thought the entries were mundane at best. Seriously, this is number 4? Alright, so buying pointy toys is probably not the best strategy for raising children.
But, do you remember what we played with as children? I do.
Ahh yeah. The Sit N Spin. The spin-until-you-can't-see-straight-then-get-up-and-run-into-something-like-a- coffee-table-or-grandma super fun toy. I sustained so many head injuries from the intoxicating effects of this wondrous device. And you know what? They still sell these fuckers. My child will have one.
You know what else we had? Lawn Darts. GI Joe toys that fired eye-piercing missiles. Playgrounds built on concrete. It was Darwinism at its best.
Those were the days.
Really, I've never been a big fan of Christmas music collections. Perhaps the memories of my mother playing Micheal Bolton's Christmas over and over again has something to do with it.
But no more! I urge, nay, I insist, that you take a listen to the Sufjan Stevens Songs for a Christmas Singalong (You can actually listen to the streaming 5 CD album from that link).
If you're a fan of Sufjan (by the way, thats Suf-e-yun), you'll like it just-because. Otherwise, I think you'll enjoy the subtle variations on some of your favorite Christmas songs coupled with Sufjan's magical voice.
What were you afraid of as a child that seems silly to you now?
Submitted by navelgazer.
I was afraid of the slow strobing, red aircraft warning light on the water tower, which was visible from my bedroom window. In my mind it was always watching me, like the eye of some enormous creature which came alive only in my dreams.
I would pull the curtain aside ever-so-slightly to sneak horrible, mesmerizing glances of the metal giant who patiently waited to break free of its eternal stasis.
You are not an astronaut, you are not a stockbroker, you are not flight control. You are not important enough to have a headset thingie. Trust me.
And yes, I am looking at you like a retard when you (apparently) start talking to yourself. I can't tell when you pick up your phone, jackass. You look like a crazy person.
Also, wearing these things makes you lose all sense of social norms because the conversations you have on them ARE WAY LOUDER THAN ANY CONVERSATION SHOULD BE.
Hello? Yeah.. no. I can't hear you. Is this thing working?
No, no... yeah. no. I'm on the VOX now... Can you hear me?
I'M ON THE VOX NOW
Ok! Yes, I'll be careful. You're breaking up... what? NO, the VOX.
V-O-X!
Hello?
Recent Comments
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DavidmGoliath said:
[c’est top]When I was about 8 I got into a fight at the top of the slide and got pushed off.... read more
on Toys :Sigh: -
dvncamael said:
It's better than my sister-in-law who almost causes death and destruction everyday by the insanity of texting in the car..... read more
on I'll tell you where you can put your headset. -
dvncamael said:
[this is good]This brings back fond memories of highly dangerous childhood incursion into the world of pointy objects, running with scissors to... read more
on Toys :Sigh: -
Briana said:
[c’est top]Don't forget the summer skull-cracking sensation that was the slip n' slide. I can name at least three people who... read more
on Toys :Sigh:
That is so funny read more
on Bluetooth Asshole.